My List of Happy

I miss this little blog of mine.

It's just annoying that whenever I pop in to try and write, I'm reminded of this whole other life I used to have that I would love to forget ever happened.

I'm thinking a blog overhaul is in store folks. Get this place looking all shiny and new with no remnants what so ever of he who shall not be named/douche lord.

So instead of bitching about things that annoy me, I think I'll list some things that make me happy. Like embarrassingly happy.

In no particular order:

1. Wine.. Usually from a box.
2. Vanderpump Rules marathons
3. Comfy cozy slippers
4. Cuddling
5. Popcorn
6. Realizing I just described what I'll be doing tonight and getting ridiculously excited about it.
7. Puppies
8. Kittens.. Not cats. F cats. (No offense to any cat ladies out there. I respect you and all the shit you have to put up with.)
9. Getting flowers just because
10. Christmas music
11. Theme parties
12. Sleeping in
13. Dancing. Especially car dancing.. I really enjoy a good dance sesh while driving. So do other people that pass me.
14. Popping pimples that aren't my own. I know I'm gross.
15. Boating.. I effing love boating.
16. Vodka. Give me all the vodka.
17. How excited my dog gets when I walk in the door
18. Being able to eat whatever I want and not gain any weight. Ha just kidding. That's not real life.
19. My birthday week
20. Having a weekend off
21. Road trips
22. Trying out a new restaurant
23. Open bars at weddings
24. Going to the movies
25. The beach
26. Finding money in last year's winter coat
27. A perfect mani
28. An iced vanilla latte
29. Good hair days.. I think they should happen more often
30. Phone dates with far away friends
31. Cooking for people
32. Funny snap chats
33. Pillows.. Lots of pillows
34. Anything leopard
35. Baby goats.. I will have one someday.
36. Brunch.. Unlimited mimosas preferred
37. Wearing a new outfit
38. Cheese.. Mmm.. Cheeseee
39. Boots AKA the only good thing about winter
40. Having someone else pump my gas
41. Lip plumper
42. Wine tours.. Grown up bar crawls
43. The 4th of July
44. When people fall (but don't get hurt.. I'm not completely evil)
45. Being silly with girlfriends
46. Being tan
47. Having someone play with my hair
48. Warm summer nights (why do I live in upstate NY?)
49. Receiving cards.. I keep them for always.
50. Having a million reasons to smile :)

Well on that note, time to go get people drunk enough to tip me more than the suggested 20%. Happy Monday friends!

What makes you happy?

I Hate Dating

Now I know that that's a bold statement and kind of makes me sound like a bitter old lady so let me rephrase that.. I love dating.. But only when it's my actual boyfriend or someone that I can stand being around for more than 5 minutes. I've been single for 6 months now and could've probably created a whole blog just on my awful and awkward dating adventures this summer.

Warning: When you're 27 and newly single, all of your friends will try and hook you up with whatever single guy friends they still have left. Some of these guys will be really nice.. But most of them will be full blown weirdos and may even stalk you a little bit.

Some of them will talk in third person.

Some of them will use baby talk. Eek.

Some of them will bring you carnations. (Seriously the cockroach of flowers. It's been over a month and I swear they're still alive and well somewhere in the backseat of my car.) Ca'mon man.

Some of them will ask you to be their girlfriend on the second date. You'll then have to say no and have a nice little awkward 30 minute ride home with them.

They'll then send you snap chats over the next couple of days of friends of theirs (people you don't know) saying "Hope you had fun on your date Cortney!" You will delete them off of Snapchat and debate deleting the app all together.

You'll then get a text from them a few days later where they break up with you. Even though you weren't dating and haven't spoken to them since that really awkward drive home.

You'll just agree with them and let them win because you're hoping they'll go away.. But nope, they'll say that they bought you something "back when things were good" and they still would like you to have it. Huh?  Two dates. When were things good?

You will then thank yourself for never allowing them to pick you up so they don't know where you live. Nobody wants a Lifetime movie based on their life.

If you haven't guessed, this was just one person. I'm half expecting a stuffed animal waiting for me at work today. Hey, I guess as long as it isn't carnations.

And on that note, beer me. Happy Thursday y'all.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

It's been a rough couple days.. Hell, weeks. I could probably say months but in all honesty, summer was good for me. It was full of friends, family and a whole lot of silliness. I finally felt like I was somewhat myself again.. I hadn't realized what a boring/miserable person I had become. But believe me, my asshole friends have told me. I've truly enjoyed being back in my home town and once again, getting people drunk like it's my job.. Because once again, it is. Summer was fantastic but I had to finally face what I had run away from back in March. I had to go back to Michigan.

Now I know that I said the past week or so has been hard and you may think that seeing my ex made me completely depressed all over again but it was actually just the opposite. It was like I was seeing an old friend.. And not to mention a VERY happy and even more massive Remi. There was no pain or fear that maybe we did the wrong thing by breaking up. The trip was honestly the best closure I could've had. Relationship wise anyway. The trip also brought back old feelings of why I moved to Michigan in the first place. I remembered how much I loved it there.. Before the boyfriend, before the Remi. I honestly had a panic attack on my way back to New York because I didn't want to leave. (But I hadn't had a panic attack in like 2 weeks so I was over due.)

So now here I am wondering what I should do. Should I stay in New York? Or back to Michigan I go? Can someone let me borrow their crystal ball?

I Came Out Of The Closet

Kind of. My break up hasn't turned me to the other side (yet) even though I did strongly consider it for like two minutes. I also strongly consider it whenever I see pictures of Kate Upton but that's neither here nor there.

I came out of the blogging closet. (I know that that's probably not a thing but I'm making it one)

I know that I've read posts about this topic before but I thought I'd share my experience for those that are considering coming out or have already done so.

When I first started blogging, I was embarrassed. I hid it from everyone for fear of what they would think or say. I was absolutely terrified for anyone to know that I was a blogger and then the thought of my friends and family actually reading it?! Forget it. What if they hated it? Everyone was going to think I was weird or tell me that it was good but really just laugh at it behind my back. I seriously would feel like I was doing something super sneaky whenever I wrote a post. I almost kind of liked that part though because I have no secrets. If you tell me a secret, I won't tell a soul. But my own secrets? I tell everybody.

Welp, one day, I was pretty much called out on it and had to confess. I guess I hadn't been as sneaky as I thought I was. And all the bad things that I was scared of happening? They happened. I was made to feel bad about it.. I was made to feel so dumb about certain blog posts that I stopped writing about shit I actually cared about and then eventually stopped writing at all.

*Looking back, this should have been a red flag and I should've kept right on doing what I was doing. Blogging is something that I enjoy doing and although I was made to feel stupid for doing it, it was stupid of me to stop. Throw in some words that rhyme with fuck and I'll end this little rant right now*

Anywho, I've been back in New York for two months now and have been loving spending time with my friends who for the most part, I've known since elementary school. I've also made quite a few new friends who I swear, God was like "uh oh, Cortney's sad.. Better send her some new drinking buddies who she'll love for forever and ever. Amen." (Thanks guy.)

One night (after a pop or two) I was exchanging Twitter info with one of these new friends and he asked why I had two different Twitter accounts. I explained that I had two because one of them was linked to something secret of mine. Obviously he pressed the issue so I immediately spilled the ONE secret of mine that I hadn't told. Oops.

I expected to be made fun of.. For him to drop on the floor right there and laugh & point at my now very red face. Instead, he got so excited about seeing it that I had to show him. He (said) he loved it and started showing other friends of ours who then also said they loved it. I actually found out that quite a few of my girlfriends have been wanting to start a blog but didn't know how or were also embarrassed. People were actually excited about it and read it from beginning to end and then told me I needed to start again.. So here I am.

Long story short, I've now opened up this little piece of the interwebz to my friends and family. Do they all love it? Probably not. I know that what I write isn't for everyone but at least I'm not embarrassed to say that I blog anymore. It's actually kind of fun. Especially when you've had a few shots of Fireball.

To anyone considering coming out of your own blogging closet, I say do it. The people that truly love you will love it and if they don't, fuck 'em.

Nothing A Little Vodka Can't Fix.

Hi Blog World. I'm alive..  I've just been waiting to write until I actually felt alive again. For anyone that has followed this little blog of mine for any amount of time, you'll know that the whole thing was pretty much centered around my boyfriend, my dog and my life in Michigan. Well, since the last time I wrote, the dog and the boyfriend are no longer mine and I'm currently living back in Upstate New York with my room mate (my mom). Try not to be too jealous.

I fell off the face of the world pretty abruptly but my own little world crumbled rather abruptly so I hope you all can forgive me. 

I'm also writing from my phone which is annoying the living hell out of me but my laptop is still in Michigan along with all the rest of my belongings. Imagine living out of a suitcase for a week and how annoying that shit is. Now times it by 2 months and there you have my life. 

Note to self: When you break up, just suck it up and grab all your shit. You'll thank yourself 2 months later when you then realize you have to drive 10 hours away just to blow $800 on a UHaul and drive right back. 

Actually, this whole thing has been a huge learning experience. Probably one of the most painful things I've ever been through but let's learn things about break ups today, shall we?

1. Never move in with a guy after 1 month of dating. You effing idiot.

2. Don't buy a Great Dane together and don't fall in love with her.

3. Don't revolve your whole world around one person. Mother F.

4. Swear off all men & become a bitter person for the rest of your life.

5. Only do that for 5 minutes. 

6. Surround yourself with all those amazing people you've been living so far away from for so long.

7. Drink insane amounts of vodka with these people until they start asking when you're going to allow them to be sober again. 

8. Tell them NEVERRRR. 

9. Get back to being you.. Not the person someone wanted you to be. You're a happier person when you are you. 

10. Just go be awesome. Life is too short to be sad. 

Welp. That's enough life lessons for a Tuesday. Can't wait to start stalking and loving on all of you again! 

From Brat To Bestie

If you follow me on Instagram, you'll have already seen all the Instalove that Remi was receiving yesterday for her birthday. It's kind of sad that my dog is so much cooler than I am.

 

But seriously can not believe that my little girl is already one.. where does the time go?!

It seems like just yesterday that we were picking her out and bringing her home.

 

Gosh, I miss that little nugget of a pup on the left but definitely not how naughty that same little nugget was. I swear I still have nightmares.. but she has slowly become my new BFF (even after peeing on a pair of my boots last week) and I'm so glad that we decided to add her to our little fam. Or that Paul finally gave in after months of my begging.. which ever.

 

 I wonder if I'll be this sad over my hypothetical human children getting older..

 

An update on my blog design progress: Minimal.

My goal is to have this place back up and running full time by Monday next week..

Which probably means Tuesday since St Pattys just so happens to be on Monday & I really enjoy drinking green beer with a side of Irish Car Bomb(s). Enjoy being Irish this weekend friends! Hopefully this place will be looking a lot different next week!  

I'm Alive. I Promise.

Well, hello there March 11'th - aka my first post in March. Oops.

Just letting you all know that yup, I'm alive! And that things might start looking really funny around here as I'm pretending to be a blog designer.

X's and O's.