I Came Out Of The Closet

Kind of. My break up hasn't turned me to the other side (yet) even though I did strongly consider it for like two minutes. I also strongly consider it whenever I see pictures of Kate Upton but that's neither here nor there.

I came out of the blogging closet. (I know that that's probably not a thing but I'm making it one)

I know that I've read posts about this topic before but I thought I'd share my experience for those that are considering coming out or have already done so.

When I first started blogging, I was embarrassed. I hid it from everyone for fear of what they would think or say. I was absolutely terrified for anyone to know that I was a blogger and then the thought of my friends and family actually reading it?! Forget it. What if they hated it? Everyone was going to think I was weird or tell me that it was good but really just laugh at it behind my back. I seriously would feel like I was doing something super sneaky whenever I wrote a post. I almost kind of liked that part though because I have no secrets. If you tell me a secret, I won't tell a soul. But my own secrets? I tell everybody.

Welp, one day, I was pretty much called out on it and had to confess. I guess I hadn't been as sneaky as I thought I was. And all the bad things that I was scared of happening? They happened. I was made to feel bad about it.. I was made to feel so dumb about certain blog posts that I stopped writing about shit I actually cared about and then eventually stopped writing at all.

*Looking back, this should have been a red flag and I should've kept right on doing what I was doing. Blogging is something that I enjoy doing and although I was made to feel stupid for doing it, it was stupid of me to stop. Throw in some words that rhyme with fuck and I'll end this little rant right now*

Anywho, I've been back in New York for two months now and have been loving spending time with my friends who for the most part, I've known since elementary school. I've also made quite a few new friends who I swear, God was like "uh oh, Cortney's sad.. Better send her some new drinking buddies who she'll love for forever and ever. Amen." (Thanks guy.)

One night (after a pop or two) I was exchanging Twitter info with one of these new friends and he asked why I had two different Twitter accounts. I explained that I had two because one of them was linked to something secret of mine. Obviously he pressed the issue so I immediately spilled the ONE secret of mine that I hadn't told. Oops.

I expected to be made fun of.. For him to drop on the floor right there and laugh & point at my now very red face. Instead, he got so excited about seeing it that I had to show him. He (said) he loved it and started showing other friends of ours who then also said they loved it. I actually found out that quite a few of my girlfriends have been wanting to start a blog but didn't know how or were also embarrassed. People were actually excited about it and read it from beginning to end and then told me I needed to start again.. So here I am.

Long story short, I've now opened up this little piece of the interwebz to my friends and family. Do they all love it? Probably not. I know that what I write isn't for everyone but at least I'm not embarrassed to say that I blog anymore. It's actually kind of fun. Especially when you've had a few shots of Fireball.

To anyone considering coming out of your own blogging closet, I say do it. The people that truly love you will love it and if they don't, fuck 'em.

Nothing A Little Vodka Can't Fix.

Hi Blog World. I'm alive..  I've just been waiting to write until I actually felt alive again. For anyone that has followed this little blog of mine for any amount of time, you'll know that the whole thing was pretty much centered around my boyfriend, my dog and my life in Michigan. Well, since the last time I wrote, the dog and the boyfriend are no longer mine and I'm currently living back in Upstate New York with my room mate (my mom). Try not to be too jealous.

I fell off the face of the world pretty abruptly but my own little world crumbled rather abruptly so I hope you all can forgive me. 

I'm also writing from my phone which is annoying the living hell out of me but my laptop is still in Michigan along with all the rest of my belongings. Imagine living out of a suitcase for a week and how annoying that shit is. Now times it by 2 months and there you have my life. 

Note to self: When you break up, just suck it up and grab all your shit. You'll thank yourself 2 months later when you then realize you have to drive 10 hours away just to blow $800 on a UHaul and drive right back. 

Actually, this whole thing has been a huge learning experience. Probably one of the most painful things I've ever been through but let's learn things about break ups today, shall we?

1. Never move in with a guy after 1 month of dating. You effing idiot.

2. Don't buy a Great Dane together and don't fall in love with her.

3. Don't revolve your whole world around one person. Mother F.

4. Swear off all men & become a bitter person for the rest of your life.

5. Only do that for 5 minutes. 

6. Surround yourself with all those amazing people you've been living so far away from for so long.

7. Drink insane amounts of vodka with these people until they start asking when you're going to allow them to be sober again. 

8. Tell them NEVERRRR. 

9. Get back to being you.. Not the person someone wanted you to be. You're a happier person when you are you. 

10. Just go be awesome. Life is too short to be sad. 

Welp. That's enough life lessons for a Tuesday. Can't wait to start stalking and loving on all of you again!