Thursday, September 18, 2014

I Hate Dating

Now I know that that's a bold statement and kind of makes me sound like a bitter old lady so let me rephrase that.. I love dating.. But only when it's my actual boyfriend or someone that I can stand being around for more than 5 minutes. I've been single for 6 months now and could've probably created a whole blog just on my awful and awkward dating adventures this summer.

Warning: When you're 27 and newly single, all of your friends will try and hook you up with whatever single guy friends they still have left. Some of these guys will be really nice.. But most of them will be full blown weirdos and may even stalk you a little bit.

Some of them will talk in third person.

Some of them will use baby talk. Eek.

Some of them will bring you carnations. (Seriously the cockroach of flowers. It's been over a month and I swear they're still alive and well somewhere in the backseat of my car.) Ca'mon man.

Some of them will ask you to be their girlfriend on the second date. You'll then have to say no and have a nice little awkward 30 minute ride home with them.

They'll then send you snap chats over the next couple of days of friends of theirs (people you don't know) saying "Hope you had fun on your date Cortney!" You will delete them off of Snapchat and debate deleting the app all together.

You'll then get a text from them a few days later where they break up with you. Even though you weren't dating and haven't spoken to them since that really awkward drive home.

You'll just agree with them and let them win because you're hoping they'll go away.. But nope, they'll say that they bought you something "back when things were good" and they still would like you to have it. Huh?  Two dates. When were things good?

You will then thank yourself for never allowing them to pick you up so they don't know where you live. Nobody wants a Lifetime movie based on their life.

If you haven't guessed, this was just one person. I'm half expecting a stuffed animal waiting for me at work today. Hey, I guess as long as it isn't carnations.

And on that note, beer me. Happy Thursday y'all.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

It's been a rough couple days.. Hell, weeks. I could probably say months but in all honesty, summer was good for me. It was full of friends, family and a whole lot of silliness. I finally felt like I was somewhat myself again.. I hadn't realized what a boring/miserable person I had become. But believe me, my asshole friends have told me. I've truly enjoyed being back in my home town and once again, getting people drunk like it's my job.. Because once again, it is. Summer was fantastic but I had to finally face what I had run away from back in March. I had to go back to Michigan.

Now I know that I said the past week or so has been hard and you may think that seeing my ex made me completely depressed all over again but it was actually just the opposite. It was like I was seeing an old friend.. And not to mention a VERY happy and even more massive Remi. There was no pain or fear that maybe we did the wrong thing by breaking up. The trip was honestly the best closure I could've had. Relationship wise anyway. The trip also brought back old feelings of why I moved to Michigan in the first place. I remembered how much I loved it there.. Before the boyfriend, before the Remi. I honestly had a panic attack on my way back to New York because I didn't want to leave. (But I hadn't had a panic attack in like 2 weeks so I was over due.)

So now here I am wondering what I should do. Should I stay in New York? Or back to Michigan I go? Can someone let me borrow their crystal ball?

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