I Came Out Of The Closet

Kind of. My break up hasn't turned me to the other side (yet) even though I did strongly consider it for like two minutes. I also strongly consider it whenever I see pictures of Kate Upton but that's neither here nor there.

I came out of the blogging closet. (I know that that's probably not a thing but I'm making it one)

I know that I've read posts about this topic before but I thought I'd share my experience for those that are considering coming out or have already done so.

When I first started blogging, I was embarrassed. I hid it from everyone for fear of what they would think or say. I was absolutely terrified for anyone to know that I was a blogger and then the thought of my friends and family actually reading it?! Forget it. What if they hated it? Everyone was going to think I was weird or tell me that it was good but really just laugh at it behind my back. I seriously would feel like I was doing something super sneaky whenever I wrote a post. I almost kind of liked that part though because I have no secrets. If you tell me a secret, I won't tell a soul. But my own secrets? I tell everybody.

Welp, one day, I was pretty much called out on it and had to confess. I guess I hadn't been as sneaky as I thought I was. And all the bad things that I was scared of happening? They happened. I was made to feel bad about it.. I was made to feel so dumb about certain blog posts that I stopped writing about shit I actually cared about and then eventually stopped writing at all.

*Looking back, this should have been a red flag and I should've kept right on doing what I was doing. Blogging is something that I enjoy doing and although I was made to feel stupid for doing it, it was stupid of me to stop. Throw in some words that rhyme with fuck and I'll end this little rant right now*

Anywho, I've been back in New York for two months now and have been loving spending time with my friends who for the most part, I've known since elementary school. I've also made quite a few new friends who I swear, God was like "uh oh, Cortney's sad.. Better send her some new drinking buddies who she'll love for forever and ever. Amen." (Thanks guy.)

One night (after a pop or two) I was exchanging Twitter info with one of these new friends and he asked why I had two different Twitter accounts. I explained that I had two because one of them was linked to something secret of mine. Obviously he pressed the issue so I immediately spilled the ONE secret of mine that I hadn't told. Oops.

I expected to be made fun of.. For him to drop on the floor right there and laugh & point at my now very red face. Instead, he got so excited about seeing it that I had to show him. He (said) he loved it and started showing other friends of ours who then also said they loved it. I actually found out that quite a few of my girlfriends have been wanting to start a blog but didn't know how or were also embarrassed. People were actually excited about it and read it from beginning to end and then told me I needed to start again.. So here I am.

Long story short, I've now opened up this little piece of the interwebz to my friends and family. Do they all love it? Probably not. I know that what I write isn't for everyone but at least I'm not embarrassed to say that I blog anymore. It's actually kind of fun. Especially when you've had a few shots of Fireball.

To anyone considering coming out of your own blogging closet, I say do it. The people that truly love you will love it and if they don't, fuck 'em.