Being A Storm Chaser Isn't That Cool.

The weeks almost over and homegirl is about to be spending a week being awesome: boating, tanning, becoming an ultimate fisherwoman, drinking a beer or five, out running bears, grilling.. maybe I should post that on Facebook so people can be jealous of me! Hypocritical? Maybe a little. Anywho, while I'm out being awesome, some pretty cool chicks are going to be blogsitting for me and I'm pretty excited about it! You'll love all of them (if you don't already) and it's just going to be spectacular, spectacular.

Before I head out for a little vacay shopping for maxis, bikini covers and a Wine2Go cup.. rough life, I know.. I thought I'd tell you about my little day yesterday. I was having a less than stellar day as you could probably tell from this little post, so PDiddy and I decided to go be really brave storm chasers and watch this storm roll in from Lake Michigan:

 

 

Well, this is what a storm looks like coming in:

 

I know.. way less cool than I thought it'd be too. The fact that there weren't any waves though really creeped me out. Where did they go?! Well, while being a storm chaser, you get poured on.. which was okay with us because we just found the nearest bar.

Before getting rained on.. Excuse the red hair.

On the way home, we stopped to get some drinks and out popped Paul with a grab bag of my favorite things. If this isn't romance then I don't know what is:

So all I needed to make my day better was a Lime-A-Rita, a Bud Light, a Summer Shandy and champagne.. who knew? Not me. But it worked!

Hope you all enjoy your Thirsty Thursday while I'm enjoying getting other people drunk. I might even do a little "See ya never bitches! I'm on vacation!" dance on the bar tonight after work because I've never danced on a bar before.

Linking up!

The Problem With Social Media

I wasn't planning on ranting about social media today but if I see one more picture of someone's engagement ring or the sonogram of their new baby, I'm going to scream. When did such a personal picture become something that people want to share with their 2000 Facebook friends that they don't even know anyway? That annoying girl that keeps bragging about the raise she got at work (when I know for a fact that she still lives at home) is coming dangerously close to being defriended and I'm having visions of throwing a brick through the window of the new house that train wreck I knew in college just bought. Bottom line, social media is causing me to go through a 20 something crisis.

Don't get me wrong, I'm truly happy right now but seeing big things happen all around me-seeing friends getting engaged, promoted, having babies-makes me feel pressured. I feel like I should be doing all of these things too. Growing up, I thought I'd be married by 25 with 2.5 kids on the way in a beautiful big house that I could easily afford because of my ridiculiusly amazing job (obviously not bartending) but this hasn't happened. Which is okay. But why is it happening for that slore that lived down the hall from me freshman year?

Even Pinterest, a site where I pin all the things that I love, is adding to my daily panic. My boards are a wish list of all the things that I want but don't have and can't afford. How much more depressing can that really be? I have a board dedicated to the house that I don't have and a board for my hypothetical wedding (that is hopefully happening in the near future. Hint, hint Paul) when I don't even have a ring on it.

I have almost completely stopped checking Facebook.. mostly in part to people's crazy political rants and gun control and all that bull shit.. but also because it just plain makes me feel bad about myself. I'm trying to spin this little crisis though and make it beneficial by reevaluating my life. When did I become okay with the fact that I'm still bartending? Time to get a big kid job Cort.. and also stop talking to yourself.

But also, I need to stop feeling bad about myself. Everything doesn't need to happen for me right this minute. I don't need to be married tomorrow. I don't need to be a mom by age 30. A lot of women aren't.. and that's okay. Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter are places where people brag about how wonderful their life is. No one is posting about how horrible their shit life is going.. except sometimes they are.. and those people bug me too. But I just have to remember that I don't have it that bad and that I can fix this little rut I'm in. When seeing all the great stuff happening to friends on social media, it's easy to slip into "my life sucks" mode but I just can't let it anymore. Time to turn this shit around.

And hey, things could be worse.. I could be Amanda Bynes.

 

Arts & Crafts Are Not My Strong Point

I planned on writing a fun tutorial on a couple DIY projects that I've been working on today BUT since I can never just listen to the original instructions and like to put my own spin on things, these DIY projects have officially gone into repair and rebuild mode. I have paint all over me (and the dog) and things just aren't pretty. Hopefully I'll be able to show you something by the end of the week but I apologize in advance if it's just another one of my Pinterest fails.. which is highly likely.

Since I'm feeling a little empty handed today, I thought I'd link up on a topic that I'm a pro on. What is Cortney a professional at (other than drinking vodka) you ask? Well, talking about the Bachelorette of course!! So when a couple fave bloggers of mine started a link up about your bachelor pick of the week, I was almost glad that all of my Pinterest projects took a complete left turn to Throwinthegarbageville, USA.

My Bachelor Pick of the Week:
BROOKS



I have been Team Brooks from the very beginning. We've been playing fantasy Bachelorette ("we" meaning Paul and I, his mom & sisters) and I was sadly not able to draft Brooks. If I were playing by the rules, I'd be Team Bryden because he's the only guy on my team that stands a chance in hell but I just love Brooks. Paul is Team Juan Pablo because Paul seriously picked all the hot dudes for his team which I like to make fun of him for.. his brother is getting all sorts of good material for his best man's speech with this game.

The first episode, Brooks didn't get much air time but I felt like they kept showing him.. he wasn't the best looking but his looks have been growing on me the last couple weeks. When he hurt his poor little finger last night, and was holding Des's hand (grow some balls Brooksie), it was seriously cute.. and Des was all upset at the group date when Brooks wasn't able to be there. I don't think she'd be as upset if it had been Zak W laid up in a hospital bed with a hurt pinky (is it just me or could Zak W be  The Situation's twin?!). Anyway, Brooks is my homeboy even if I did try tweeting at Juan Pablo last night. Paul acted like he was mad about it but I really think he was just mad he didn't think to do it first.

Who is your bachelor pick?

Is It Vacay Time Yet?

Well hello lovers and welcome to the last week before my fantabulous vacation! We leave on Saturday and I couldn't be more excited about this trip. I'll get to that in a bit though. So far, Monday has been Monday'ish.. Remi decided that she was going to make her very own doggy door! By pushing through the screen door. Awesome. She did let me paint her nails this weekend though so at least she looked fancy while doing it.

 

So on to our vacay! Every year, Paul's family takes a lake trip together at a place called Big Star. His dad even proposed to his mom there so that's how long his family has been going but this year is going to be the best year ever because I'll be there! Duh. We're staying in cabins which is great because I say that I love camping but I really love the cheating kind of camping where you get to stay in cabins. I even get to feel really cool at some point this week when I get my fishing license! I've loved fishing ever since I was a little girl but my very own fishing license? That's intense.

 

I'm SO excited for:

Campfires

Margaritas

Catching the biggest fish in the history of fish

Boating

Beers on the boat

Finally getting a freaking tan

Fireball

Becoming a grill master

Beers while grilling

S'mores

Bachelorette because they have a TV just for this reason
Winning every single game we play
Not having to wear makeup or be pretty ever

Living in a bikini cover up

 

I'm not so excited for:

Mosquitos

The Fireball hangover I'll most definitely receive

Bears (they've seen them before!!)

Any kind of forest animal that isn't cute and cuddly looking

Not having Wifi or probably any kind of internet

Leaving Remi with a puppy sitter
Swimming

Disclaimer: I'm not scared of swimming.. I'm not Ryan Lochte or anything (thank gawd.) but I'm a legit swimmer. I'm scared of the fish that I know are going to swim around me/touch me/bite me/hunt me in a pack and eat me. They are the next worst thing next to planes. And Ryan Lochte.

A Little Shameless Plugging

You know you're officially a blogger when your Friday morning consists of arts and crafts. I'm also realizing how expensive blogging can be thanks to all the inspiration from you all. You're really draining my alcohol fund guys.

Some exciting things happened around here this week!

New blog design!
New Twitter!
New Facebook!
Same old Instagram.

But most importantly:

New Sponsors!

Crazy Bullies|Smalls The Blog|Dog Hair Is An Accessory|Insert Classy Here|My Mom's a Whack Job

You should go visit all of them. Why? Because I said so. Because they're fabulous! 

I was planning to #backthatazzup but my computer has decided not to cooperate. 

Oh well.. I guess Remi and I will just have to dance around the house alone this week.

Have a great weekend everyone! 

The Transformation of a Monster

 Today I bring you the transformation of the little monster that we like to call Remi Rae. I was looking through the million pictures on my phone of her and couldn't believe how much she's changed! She was such a little peanut when we got her and now I can barely pick her up. I know we have a long way to go since she's going to be 150+ pounds but I thought it'd be fun to document her growth so far.

 

 

 And now for today's photo and a whole 32 lbs later:

 

 

Our little devil is growing up. She'll resemble a horse before we know it!

 

I Feel Pretty

Working on a Monday threw me completely off.. I almost felt like a grown up. Gross.

 

But while I was away, this little blog had a makeover! Thanks to one of my favorites, Sarah at Venus Trapped in Mars my little piece of Blogland is all pretty now! If you're looking for a new blog design, you need to head on over to her right now. I changed my mind once twice a million times and she didn't even bat an eyelash.. she would just send me back something completely ah-mazing/exactly what I wanted. She is so helpful and made my life more glittery so thank you Sarah!

 

While on the subject of Sarah, I was also nominated for the Ivrester Award while I was gone! By not one blogger, but three! Erin, Chelsee, and Kristin! It took many years of abusing my liver to get here but I am completely honored to have been nominated for this award.

 

And since I'm lazy smart, I'm just going to copy the rules of the award from the creator.

 

Rules:

Acknowledge who nominated you

Answer the 10 questions listed below

Nominate 10 bloggers you think are excellent drinkers

You can't nominate the blog that nominated you (But why would you? They clearly just answered the questions already)

Don't make any more questions, everyone just answer these questions below... why are we making so many questions for this Leibster guy?

If you are nominated, just answer the questions and nominate 10 more people. That is it.

Why are there rules for this? Q&A. That is all. 

Questions:

1. What is your favorite drinking game and why?
2. It is your birthday, what is your idea of the perfect evening
3. Money is no object, what is your go to drink of choice at a bar?
4. How many times have you played the game "Edward 40 Hands"
5. Take this alcohol screening quiz here, what score did you receive?
6. What is your favorite memory with Alcohol?
7. What is your favorite song about drinking? Or song to drink to?
8. What is your favorite activity to do while drinking (i.e. boating, bowling, golf, trivia, etc.)
9. In your opinion, which is the number one party school in the country and why?
10. When do you know you have had too much to drink? What are your signals?

& Now For My Answers:

 

1. What is your favorite drinking game and why? Bags, washers, not horseshoes because I suck at horseshoes but really anything that you can play outside while drinking. Why? Because day drinking is awesome and throwing a game in there so you feel like you're doing something with your life other than drinking heavily in the middle of the day is good too.

2. It is your birthday, what is your idea of the perfect evening? I'm wearing a sombrero while day drinking on a beach somewhere with all of my favorite people. Tequila is probably involved.

3. Money is no object, what is your go to drink of choice at a bar? Vodka/soda with lime, vodka/water with lemon, some kind of yummy martini if I'm feeling fancy.

4. How many times have you played the game "Edward 40 Hands"? While not cheating? Never. I always have to pee before the end of the game and is anyone else bothered by the fact that men think it's okay to help each other pee just because they're playing Edward 40 Hands? Saying "no homo" is not enough bro.

5. Take this alcohol screening quiz here, what score did you receive? You answered 11 items out of 20 Yes. Your score is 55%. When they ask if you drink alone, I really don't think wine should count!

6. What is your favorite memory with alcohol? What's that saying? "I live for the nights I'll never remember with the friends I'll never forget." I may or may not remember a lot of things.

7. What is your favorite song about drinking? Or song to drink to? Anything country if we're just day drinking.. A little Bob Marley if we're laying on a beach somewhere.

8. What is your favorite activity to do while drinking? Boating!! And dancing.. Dancing on a boat.

 9. In your opinion, which is the number one party school in the country and why? State University of New York at Oneonta. You just have to go there and see the craziness for yourselves. Erin will back me up.

 10. When do you know you have had too much to drink? What are your signals? I never know.. and apparently I'm a really sneaky drunk because people always tell me "you didn't even seem drunk!" and I'm thinking "really? because I don't even remember seeing you."

I'm cheating and not nominating anyone because everyone I would nominate has already been nominated and I just said nominate 3 times in one sentence. Four if you count the last one.