Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The Problem With Social Media

I wasn't planning on ranting about social media today but if I see one more picture of someone's engagement ring or the sonogram of their new baby, I'm going to scream. When did such a personal picture become something that people want to share with their 2000 Facebook friends that they don't even know anyway? That annoying girl that keeps bragging about the raise she got at work (when I know for a fact that she still lives at home) is coming dangerously close to being defriended and I'm having visions of throwing a brick through the window of the new house that train wreck I knew in college just bought. Bottom line, social media is causing me to go through a 20 something crisis.

Don't get me wrong, I'm truly happy right now but seeing big things happen all around me-seeing friends getting engaged, promoted, having babies-makes me feel pressured. I feel like I should be doing all of these things too. Growing up, I thought I'd be married by 25 with 2.5 kids on the way in a beautiful big house that I could easily afford because of my ridiculiusly amazing job (obviously not bartending) but this hasn't happened. Which is okay. But why is it happening for that slore that lived down the hall from me freshman year?

Even Pinterest, a site where I pin all the things that I love, is adding to my daily panic. My boards are a wish list of all the things that I want but don't have and can't afford. How much more depressing can that really be? I have a board dedicated to the house that I don't have and a board for my hypothetical wedding (that is hopefully happening in the near future. Hint, hint Paul) when I don't even have a ring on it.

I have almost completely stopped checking Facebook.. mostly in part to people's crazy political rants and gun control and all that bull shit.. but also because it just plain makes me feel bad about myself. I'm trying to spin this little crisis though and make it beneficial by reevaluating my life. When did I become okay with the fact that I'm still bartending? Time to get a big kid job Cort.. and also stop talking to yourself.

But also, I need to stop feeling bad about myself. Everything doesn't need to happen for me right this minute. I don't need to be married tomorrow. I don't need to be a mom by age 30. A lot of women aren't.. and that's okay. Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter are places where people brag about how wonderful their life is. No one is posting about how horrible their shit life is going.. except sometimes they are.. and those people bug me too. But I just have to remember that I don't have it that bad and that I can fix this little rut I'm in. When seeing all the great stuff happening to friends on social media, it's easy to slip into "my life sucks" mode but I just can't let it anymore. Time to turn this shit around.

And hey, things could be worse.. I could be Amanda Bynes.
 
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15 comments:

Kailagh said...

Couldn't agree more. I'm not even graduated from college & everyone seems to be getting engaged or married or pregoo. WHY?! I feel as thought the pressure to grow up is now at the age of 15. It's a killer.

& agreed, my pinterest addiction isn't helping my cause or anyone else's. My whinning has increased and i'm even annoyed.

Girllllll we need to take our lives back like mega asap.

xo. Kailagh

Chelsee @ Southern Beauty Guide said...

I agree.. I am like stop it already!

Erin said...

Even though I'm married and have a solid job, I still feel the pressure. I don't think it ever ends! I get jealous of people's dream houses and perfect adorable babies meanwhile we're digging ourselves outta' student loan debt and living in our teeny lil started house.

In regards to FB, I now have less than 200 friends. I used to just friend anyone and everyone I'd ever met- or not- but now, I keep it really private to just family and actual friends. That way I don't feel bad sharing news about something good, because I know those are the people who DO wanna know. And same about me reading theirs.

Whoops, novel comment! ;)

elizalouise.bell said...

Per my therapist I had to take a week off of social media because I was comparing myself to people that I didn't even know. It's so frustrating. I feel you!!

Yammering Yankee said...

Ugh I feel you I have one friend who only posts photos of her kids on fb. This used to make me feel bad until I realized that's all her life revovls around now. She has no job and her size 4 body disappeared around the 3rd month of her first pregnancy never to return again. Enjoy your freedom while you can. You have Lifetime to be married have kids and work a corporate job.

Chelsea said...

We've all been there Cort!!!! Sometimes it does get overwhelming! As long as your happy (no matter where your life is at) is all that matters girl!!!!

Faith Bowyer said...

I'm right there with you, girl. So don't feel alone. I have days where I want to smack everyone on facebook.. if only that was acceptable.

I try and just throw those thoughts out the window. Who cares if I'm 24 and single? I like to think that I'm 24 and awesome. Boom, instantly makes me feel better.

brooke lyn said...

a) people that post pics of their sonograms are the worst. i will burn that effing picture if you post it one more time. b) pinterest sucks for me, really makes me feel less crafty, less fashionable, and like i am never going to be able to decorate a house let alone buy one!

Robin said...

Cort! I hear ya! After about 2 years of this during the last election I cleaned up my FB. Ends up its better for my health to NOT see the slag from freshman year that was always cruel to me, living her life. I also found that I got less crazy political stuff that way... Still happens sometimes and I just adjust my news feed. I will say I don't have 2000 friends prolly closer to 100 and I'm ok with that.

I had an interesting convo with an expectant mom and the pressure social media puts on women these days. Which is sad. Cuz I love Pinterest too, but not at the risk of feeling inadequate!!! Hang on!!! You are living your life, and that's what we all have to do!

I seriously love that you ranted about this!

Steph G said...

I've made a vow to myself to unfriend anyone that annoys me on facebook unless they are my real friend and then I made snarky comments when I see them. I've cleared out almost 250 people. It just feels good.

That Amanda Bynes comment was perfect too. I think we can all be thankful we're not her.

Erin said...

facebook is so good at making you feel jealous and bad...i don't hardly check it anymore either. it is not healthy to compare yourself to others all the time and that is what the damn faceplace makes us do! there is nothing at all wrong with bartending, not being married, or anything else you do if you are happy.

Adriana said...

HATE fb. I always feel worse after scolling thru there.

also I just post pictures of my dog and my boozing which I think is way more socially acceptable than sonograms.

also don't get engaged because everyyyyone is engaged/married and I need you on my "dating but not wifed up" team.

Jackie said...

I feel ya. I'm already dealing with feeling like I'm behind. I'm 28 and I definitely thought I'd be married with at least one child by now...not living at home, incredibly single, and unsure what the heck is going on. Social media allows people to flaunt only the good so it seems as if everyone has the perfect life and has what you want.

Heidi said...

I feel ya chickadee :) but it only gets better with age in my opinion! Met hubs at 25, got married at 29 and am now childless and taking advantage of this sweet short time.
I stopped sharing a lot on FB and feel so much relief. Some peeps are way too overshare-y. That's what blogs are for, right?! :)

Elle said...

I hear ya sister! Last week a friend was giddy with excitement bc she swore I was prego... ummm I ate too much Thai food. She was there. I am pretty sure it was the combo that ultimately made me throw up. XOXO

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