Bah Hum Bug Part Deux

Can I just start this off by saying that working the day after Christmas should be illegal? I could've easily slept until next Tuesday this morning and I don't remember ever being that exhausted after a holiday that wasn't my birthday.. and yes, my birthday is a holiday.

Anyway, I just had the worst time getting into the holiday spirit this year. It was my second Christmas away from home which I was totally depressed about and then super stressful because I procrastinated a ton on gifts. Then, when I finally found a PS4 after stalking the lives of Walmart workers for two weeks (literally stalking.. they stopped answering my phone calls), my car was ice'd over and wouldn't move so PDiddy had to drive me to get it. I was so excited to see his face on Christmas morning when he opened it and then nope. Michigan weather ruined it for me.

So I just gave him the thing right away and I got to wrap presents while listening to gun shots and people dying. How festive.

I did finally get into the spirit yesterday once we were at his family's party.. they all just love the holiday so much that it'd be impossible to not enjoy it while around them. I got to thinking about it though and I've always had a love/hate relationship with Christmas. I know I sound like a total grinch right now but I'm sure I'm not the only one. So with the help of this website, I thought I'd share some of my thoughts on the joyous occasion this morning.

 

Not me. I wanted to roll right back over and go to bed. The champagne induced headache didn't help much here though.

 

Am I the only one that thinks these things are disgusting?

 

This one I'll jump on board with. After all, it was a christmas cookie scented Yankee candle that got me through a very dark shower when we didn't have power last week.

 

If we had a fire. Sad face.

Yes, yes and yes. Santa/PDiddy even brought me some this year from here and they are the most comfortable things I have or will ever own. I hope he likes them because I'll be wearing them everyday.

 

I hate candy canes.. the last thing I want to do is smell like one.

 

Oops.

 

Another oops. Thanks for nothing Pinterest.

 

No. Just no.

 

Or two days before hand.. because that's what I did.

 

Mimosa's? Sign me up.. hold the OJ. Wine? As long as it's white. A Christmas margarita you say? Absolutely. Hot chocolate? No thanks, I'll take a beer.

Do any of you have any Christmas pet peeves? Or am I the only Grinch around these parts?

 

365 days until Christmas!



Merry Merry

Merry Christmas Everyone!! Hope everyone is enjoying their family and a mimosa or two.

The Day I Took Over

Hi, I'm Remi.

Mom is really busy today.. AKA FINALLY getting all of her shopping done.. so her procrastinating ass thought maybe I would like to try out this whole blogging thing. After all, I do know how to FaceTime now.

 

Exhibit A.

And an education.

 

Exhibit B

And this blogging thing can't be all that hard anyway.. right?

 

 

But yup, that's me up there.

The Great Dane in the embarrassing hat.

That's not the first time Mom has dressed me up stupid..

 



Exhibit C



And I have a sneaking suspicion that it won't be the last.

                  I'm also not sure if I can completely blame it on the wine.

 

I think the next time she tries it,

I'm putting a perfectly manicured paw down,

because yup, the woman does that too.

After all, I am a shit ton bigger than her now.

 

 

And I'm only going to get bigger!

 

Even though she talks a lot of smack on here about me,

I know she secretly loves me.

 

 

Mostly because of all these embarrassing duck face selfies she takes with me.

(Seriously Mom, you're only embarrassing yourself.)

Bah hum bug.

The state of Michigan and I are in a fight. As if the shit ton of snow that we've already gotten wasn't enough, it thought that an ice storm would be appropriate right before Christmas. Showering by candle light is exactly what I wanted to do yesterday in my frozen apartment.

At least it smelled like Christmas cookies.

Then had to pack up the dog and go spend the night at PDiddy's parents along with his siblings that also had no power. 6 adults + 3 dogs = one interesting slumber party. Especially because Remi decided to be Cujo. Literally tried to eat one of the dogs because they got too close to her food. Whoever said Great Danes are "gentle giants" needs to slow their role.

This is shit for a post.. I apologize. I just really needed to bitch it out real quick. Hope everyone has power and isn't sleeping on their in law's floor on a bed made out of couch cushions! I promise to be a little less bitchy tomorrow. Only a little though.

Pinterest: 268, Cortney: 0

Welp, the office holiday party went off without a hitch. I successfully got everyone drunk so job well done.. Except I successfully got myself pretty drunk too which is why I couldn't even fathom the idea of a post yesterday. 26 year old me couldn't hang with 21 year old me.. that's for damn sure.

I did attempt to bake cookies on Monday night for said party though and found out that baking is just not a Cortney friendly activity.

I always pin a lot of recipes to my "yum" board but never make any of them because I'm lazy because I hate grocery shopping because none of the 267 recipes I've tried have ever turned out like the picture. So this pin has been sitting on my Pinterest for a year:

Little baby Snickers inside a sugar cookie.. Cute little festive balls of goodness. Easy enough right?

 

Wrong. My cookies flattened out into big green blobs. PDiddy didn't mind one bit though because he got to eat the really funny looking ones.

 

The solution:

 

 

Make somewhat better looking ones the second time around to hide the really ugly ones. Done and done.

 

Every single one was gone though so at least they tasted good! That's all that matters right?

 

Dear Santa, Define Good.

Woop! Second to last Monday before Christmas! You know what that means! That I should probably start my Christmas shopping. Is anyone else procrastinating as badly as I am this year? I'm a bad Santa.

I DID do something Christmas'ish this weekend though and had a little photo shoot with Remi for our Christmas cards. It took a lot of treats and peanut butter but we finally got a good one! .. or one where she doesn't look completely depressed.

Leave it to Target to have a Santa hat and beard for dogs.

I think she almost kind of liked it. Poor girl is always being made to dress up so she's probably just used to it by now.

Happy Monday ya'll.

Guess What!

If you're anything like me, those two little words send all sorts of excitement right through me as soon as I hear them. I must know immediately.. WHAT?!

And even if it's something really stupid, I get super excited about it anyway and need to know all the deets.

Well, I hope you didn't get too pumped over my guess what today because it's pretty boring news.. but still news.. which is pretty exciting around here since I haven't posted since Halloween.

I got a job! A big girl job.

It even came with my own big girl office!

What exactly am I doing? The jurys still out on that one but I'll keep ya posted.

I am in charge of super duper important things though like planning the company's holiday party. Like I said, super duper "important" things.

But what does this mean for my little relationship with my blog?
We're getting back together!
.. and I didn't even need to drunk text it and ask for it's foregiveness.
Best. Relationship. Ever.

Anyway, I've missed you guys. I know I completely dropped off the face of the earth before which was really stupid but I pinky promise I had some good reasons. I have a date with a bottle of Svedka later so if you want me to drunk text you how sorry I am for being an awful person blogger, let me know. But I'll probably just send an innappropriate snap chat instead. You're welcome. (wink)