The Only Line I Can Think To Say Is..

Hey girl. Apparently I decided it was okay to only post three times this week but that was only because the sun decided to be so good to me. Yup, we're going to blame it on the sun.

BUT it's Friday! And that makes me happy.

Want to know what else makes me happy?

#backthatazzup Friday! AND this song:

 

Maybe next week I'll actually post a non-country song..
but probably not.
 

  Now off to the mall to buy a new outfit for tonight's party, a new bikini for tomorrow's party and probably something new to wear to work on Sunday because wearing the same thing twice is overrated.   Remember that whole not drinking for a whole week thing? That's clearly not happening. See you Monday to tell you all about the massive hang over I'll most likely be dealing with. Happy weekend everyone!    

Things I Don't Have (But Should)

We're halfway there! Halfway to what I don't really know since the boy toy and I decided that we aren't drinking once this week. This week includes the weekend AND the 2 days following it. So far, so good except for that glass bottle of wine I was craving last night and had to settle for a bottle  of water instead. Ho hum.   Anyway, I haven't made a list in awhile (since last week) so what better day than today to write about things that I don't have but should? If there were ever a post that I really, really wanted my boyfriend to read, this is it. So if you aren't Paul (or Santa) I apologize.



A Vino2Go Nevermind owning one.. how I didn't invent this I'll never know. I'd like an  XL one in every color please and thank you.

Real Housewives of OC Box Set
After watching the 2 hour special for the 100th episode, I realized I've only been watching these crazy bitches since season 4! I have been missing out on all sorts of drama goodness and I need to own this yesterday.

A Tiffany & Co. Box   And if a diamond ring wanted to be inside said box, I wouldn't be mad.   A Dishwasher  

For this I can only quote, "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone?" Sigh.   These Abs  

 

You mean someone can't buy these for me?

And I'd have to stop drinking for more than week? Nevermind.

 

Some Cute Knuckle Rings

 

 

Just because they're cute.

 

Every Single Alex&Ani Bracelet Ever

Wrist candy all over the place. I want it.   Kermit  

  Jenna Marbles' dog Kermit. If I could dognap, I would.   Kermit Plush Toy  

Because I can't dognap Jenna Marbles' dog. Sad face.

  Okay, I'm going to stop myself there before I get all sorts of rich feeling and start buying myself all of these things. Happy Wednesday everyone!

How I Overcame My Fear Of Fish

Is posting twice in one day obnoxious? If it is, sorry 'bout it because it's happening. Being blog free for a week really made me miss it so you're going to hear about my vaca AND my Bachelorette Pick of the Week all in one day whether you like it or not. 
Our little family vacation was one of the best I've ever had. I didn't style my hair or do my make-up once so already that puts it in the running for the best vaca ever. That's also probably the reason why I took a total of 7 pictures while we were there. 

 Paul and I played in the sand more than two adults probably should and probably drank more Fireball than we should as well. It was seriously beautiful in "Up North, MI" (that's what it says on my souvenir hoodie) If it wasn't for the serious lack of internet, cell service and a Target store, I might really consider moving there. When you're laying on the beach and a bald eagle is flying over your head, you really feel like you're doing something cool. The margarita in your hand makes you feel even cooler, trust me.

I caught SO MANY two fish and it took me 10 minutes to be able to take a photo where I wasn't screaming slash looking terrified while holding that monster. In this post, I talked about my fear of fish hunting me in a pack and eating me and no joke, it really happened. I was standing in the water, beer in hand, minding my own business.. probably talking about the Bachelorette.. when my feet started to feel a little funny. I look down and there are a million man eating fish minnows nibbling on my freaking feet!! I ran faster than I have in years and probably looked a lot like Kim Kardashian when she decided to get a fish pedi. 

But at least I didn't name my kid North West. But I did lie in my post's title. I'm still extremely scared of fish. Sorry.
A HUGE thanks to my wonderful sponsors who blogsat while I was gone last week!! If any of my other sponsors would like to guest post while I'm visiting my fam (and maybe even Erin!) in New York next week, I'd love, love, love to have you! 

Bachelor Pick of the Week!

I'm finally back from vacay and I can't wait to tell you aaaall about it but that little post will just have to wait! Chelsee from Southern Beauty Guide asked me to cohost this week's Bachelor Pick of the Week and I was super pumped because A. I am a pro at all things Bachelor and B. I've never cohosted a link up before! So without further adieu, my bachelor pick of the week is:

BROOKS (again)

 

I just love this little guy and I think Des does too. He seems to genuinely care about her which I think showed by his little victory dance once Ben's bags were carried away. I really think Brooks is going all the way folks.

We are still playing Bachelorette Fantasy and like I posted here, I wasn't able to draft Brooks. I was able to draft Bryden though (thanks a lot Bryden) and sadly, the only guy I have left is James! Things just aren't looking great for me after seeing next week's preview.

 

But for the sake of love and not just my pocket book, I hope Brooks and Des live happily ever after live happily ever after. The End.

 

<div class="Grab button for BPOTW" style="width: 200px; margin: 0 auto;"> <a href="http://southernbeautyguide.com" rel="nofollow"> <img src="http://i1298.photobucket.com/albums/ag51/etagurl89/the-bachelorettelinkupopt1_zpsffd0dea7.png" alt="NBD" width="200" height="200" /> </a></div>

1. Follow the Hosts: Southern Beauty Guide, Rachel's Country Roots via GFC or Bloglovin' 2. Follow This week's Co-Host: Cortney
3. Grab a button from above put it in your post.
4. Write about your Bachelor Pick of the Week.
5. Come back here and link up!!!

Anyone interested in co-hosting next week email Chelsee!

Yankee Doodle, Keep It Up.

SSIF! (SoSadIt'sFriday).. why? Because that means my sad, sorry, hungover behind is on it's way back home and my little vaca is officially over. Since I'm being a party pooper, Megan is going to keep the party going by talking about the near death experience that was her bachelorette party. Megan started blogging back in March (like me!) at Yammering Yankee and she's automatically cool simply because of this:

 

I like her already. I'd also like to think she stuck a feather in her hat and called it macaroni.

 

 

Hey Everybody!

My name is Megan, I normally reside HERE at Yammering Yankee but today I am blogsitting for Senorita Cortney! I think we can all agree that she has one kick butt blog so I am super stoked to be here! Since Ms. Cortney is currently out par-taying on a boat, drinking a frosty beverage in a coozy, I figured I would share my last boating experience, also known as my Bachelorette party.  The night started innocently enough: dinner, dancing, and copious amounts of alcohol with friends at a bar by a popular lake up North. Right around the 10th beer and 5th jäger bomb I started to umm unravel...My brain shut off and a deranged alcohol infused woman took over. It was also at this point during the night me and my two best friends decided to jump on a boat with strangers, always a good idea.



Photo from the beginning of the night..still no idea what happened to my head band lol


Oh ya and I was 40lbs heavier in 2010 lol



While on our boat ride I decided I could no longer keep from "breaking the seal" so in my completely logical state of mind, I decided to attempt to pee off the side of a moving boat. Of course I failed and fell into the water. Since it was pitch dark nobody saw me fall in and as the boat proceeded to drive away all I can remember thinking was, "holy shiz I am going to drown here because my arms and legs don't seem to be working"...duh alcohol. I of course started to flail around desperately trying to keep my head above water then thank god, my best friend noticed I was no longer aboard and they turned around to get me. They pulled up and told me to swim to the boat...ya not happening...so one of the strangers had to jump in after me. As soon as the stranger resurfaced he said very loudly STAND UP!!! You see folks, me, a former competitive swimmer, was drowning in 4 feet of water.

When we pulled back up to the bar I was done, over it...

All I wanted to do was eat McDs, cry, puke, scream, and go home to Steve (my soon to be husband). After I accomplished all of these things, except go home to Steve, I passed out for the night.

The rest of the night I do not remember, I had to be told what I did next. I guess my best friend heard a commotion during the middle of the night and came to check on me. What she found I will forever be mortified over. You see in my incoherent state I mistook her Rubbermaid tub containing her Wii and all of the games as a toilet...

Yes, I wee'd on a Wii....

Apparently she screamed at me that it was not a toilet and I screamed back uhh yes it is lol.

She recounted my late night shenanigans the next morning in front of her mom and all I wanted to do was run to the nearest hole and throw myself in it, to this day I still feel terrible. Thankfully the Wii was not damaged and the both of them just laughed at me.

If you take anything away from this post, remember never have a Bachelorette party next to water and always make the bride pass out in the bathroom.

All I can say is I am only getting married once because I don't think I would survive another Bachelorette party. I hope you guys enjoyed my post because I sure enjoyed being here. If you would like to read more about me and the awkward situations I get myself into please visit my blog. Until next time.

Cheers,
Meg

As you can see, Megan's what they call, "a good time." While I'm being all sad face on my way back to the reality that is my life, go pay Meg a visit and see what other ridiculous stories she can tell you. I'll be seeing you all on Monday!

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Boozy Bloggers Giveaway!

HELLO FRIENDS OF CORTNEY!

I'm Adriana and I blog over at Dog Hair Is An Accessory. I'm sure you love Cortney as much as I do (or ALMOST as much since I pretty much have a serious girl crush) and I'm sure you also realize it's Thirsty Thursday.

So EVEN THO Cortney is off having an incredible time on vaca, I know she is observing TT where she is and I'm gonna help her celebrate here because we're having an INCREDIBLE GIVEAWAY!!

Sara from Sara In Texas and I recruited some of bloglands best and booziest girls (including Cortney!) to join us in an epic, 3 winner giveaway! The prizes and entry form are below, and to see all the amazing contributers, head over to my blog and see how they like to get shmammered!

The stars have drunkenly aligned and these AMAZING bloggers have all come together in one place, at one time to present you with the best Boozy Bloggers Giveaway there ever was.

There will be 3 winners.

3 lucky, inebriated winners. With our help, and under the guidence of Sara and Adriana, those 3 winners will find themselves in a state of alchy bliss.

Will you be one of those lucky lushes?

PACKAGE 1

PACKAGE 2

PACKAGE 3

a Rafflecopter giveaway

A Hopeless Drinking Problem

Happy hump day! My week of booze cruising around a lake is in full swing right about now (if I haven't been eaten by a bear) so Kristin is stopping by today to help you figure out if you have a drinking problem. Kristin blogs over at Hopelessly Ever After which is all about her starring in the show The Real Housewives of Maryland.. not really, but kind of. Her and her man sauce make me wish we lived next door so that we could tail gate at Ravens' games together. I'm not a Ravens fan but I am a tail gating fan so this makes me a Kristin fan.

They even had a Ravens themed wedding.. How cool is that?

Okay.. now let's let Kristin help you figure out if you have a drinking problem or not which let's face it, if you're reading my blog.. there is a slight possibility that you may.

Hi guys!! I'm Kristin and I blog over at Hopelessly Ever After. :) I'm a 28 year old newlywed and my husband, Mike, and I live on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. We love sports, cruising, and any excuse to have a few drinks. :)

Every Thursday my blog has a linkup called Thirsty Thursday!! People stop by and link up their posts about their favorite cocktails, beer, or wine. It's so much fun and you get so many ideas for the weekend!! Come link up with us tomorrow!!

Cortney is off getting her drank on this week so she asked me to write a guest post for her. I thought it would be appropriate to come up with a little list for you guys to celebrate warmer days and longer nights!!

So, without further ado...

You might have a drinking problem if...

-  Every member of the family who owns the liquor store you go to knows you by name. And it’s not cuz you live in a small town.

- The owner yells "See you Friday" as you walk out the door on Wednesday...because he knows it only takes you 2 week days to finish that fifth you just bought.

- Your Facebook feed is full of "Just Tapped" updates from taphouses hundreds of miles away from you just for the suggestions. P.S. You get some pretty awesome ideas from these places. :)

- You smuggle 2 half gallons of vodka on a cruise, and still rack up $400 in alcohol charges.

- You stay 2 hours away from your cruise port just because Fort Lauderdale has more taphouses and breweries that you like. Helllerrr Tap 42!!

- Your husband does personal training on the side in exchange for kegs and 6-packs.

- Your post workout snack looks like this...

- You were nominated for the Ivrester Award on the first day it was given. lol. However, it is one of my biggest honors. :)

- You budget alcohol into your paycheck...and it's usually more than your budget for groceries.

- You're idea to kill time before a movie is sitting in the car with a 6-pack instead of walking around the mall.

And finally...you have a plethora of pictures like these that you can't remember taking or being taken...

Welp, I think it's safe to say that I might have a drinking problem. My drinking problem right now is probably consisting of our cooler getting a little low but that's neither here nor there. Before you go refill your wine glass, you should do all of these things first!

Follow Kristin (and link up!) | Tweet at her | Facebook her | BlogLove her | Follow her

And then maybe check on me to make sure I haven't been eaten by a bear.

PS - Adriana from Dog Hair is an Accessory will be here tomorrow with some super exciting news! You won't want to miss it.. trust me.
 

Class, Class, Class!

It's Tuesday! Usually I hate Tuesday but since I'm on vacation, happy freaking Tuesday! Today's bloggy babysitter is Steph! She blogs over at Insert Classy Here and anyone who lets their (really stinkin cute) dogs post for them is a friend of mine. Steph says she's walking a fine line between classy and being ridiculous and I really like that about her because I like to think of the same of myself. So while I'm out being ridiculous, Steph is gonna class this place up a bit!

 

 

Hi, my name is Steph and my corner of the internet is located at Insert Classy Here.  I'm so happy that Cortney invited me to "entertain" you while she's enjoying the outdoors and a little vacation.  I hope she's using bug spray and keeping her toes safe from the fish that might bite them.

I am a Minnesota girl.  I have lived here my whole life.  While all of my friends were visiting Disney World, Hawaii and all of the other exciting places throughout the country, we had all of our family vacations in Minnesota.  My parents are in love with Lake Superior and the 9,999 other lakes in Minnesota and they both enjoy nothing more than a sunrise over the lake and a bonfire at the campsite. They truly believed that canoe trips in the Boundary Waters would teach us important life lessons.  All we really learned was that we loved being outside, how to build awesome tree forts and that lake fish are UGLY.

If you've never been camping, you are missing out on a lot.  This is why I'm jealous of the week that Cortney is about to have.  Even though she is cheating a little by staying in a cabin, she still gets to enjoy the following:

Bonfires & S'Mores and smelling like smoke and not caring


The sound of birds and wildlife that you don't hear in the city


Beers in the morning... just because you can


Grilling


Fishing and boat time


Sweatpants all the time and unbrushed hair


The sunshine - uninterrupted


Country dive bars


Green trees, wildflowers, blue waters


Card games and board games


Falling asleep listening to crickets instead of cars

Last, but not least, peace and quiet.  You have not experienced quiet until you've been at the cabin on the lake with your cup of morning coffee just taking it all in.

So, I will sit here in the city (which I love too) and be jealous of all of these things and I'll be daydreaming of the quiet lakeshore of northern MN.

Can't you just smell the fresh air?

 

Steph really does balance the whole class/ridiculous thing really well if you ask me. She enjoys the beauty of wild flowers but also understands the importance of crushing a beer in the morning just because you can. So while I'm probably doing exactly that, you should probably go do the following:

 

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My Very First Blogsitter!

Aloha. That's vacation talk for hello. I wish I was in Hawaii but I'm not.. I'm on a lake probably day drinking right now and since I can't be here because I'm too drunk to type, Erin from The Party Girl's Guide is! She was one of my very first bloggy friends so she gets to be my very first guest post. I love her because she's laugh out loud funny, has a really cute dog named Fred and knows how to drink most men under the table.. what's not to love? Before I creep her out by listing more reasons that make me love her, I'm just going to turn you over to Erin.

 

 

Hey kids. While Cortney is off on vaca with her mancandy, I am going to tell you about a new made for TV movie she and I will likely be starring in soon. It is based entirely on true facts and if you want proof come visit my blog The Party Girl's Guide.

You know those movies where the characters swap lives...

Like Freaky Friday, The Change Up, and countless Lifetime holiday flicks??

Sometimes I think Cortney and I have done a swap of our own...but in real life.

 

 

Ok, not really, and to be honest I've never met her but she is one of my blog bf's and we do have some shocking similarities, so a switch up movie would be right up our alley.

She grew up in a small town and I currently live in a small town.

I grew up in Michigan and she now lives in Michigan.

I once had a cute adorable little puppy who is now a 95 pound beast.

She has a cute little puppy who will soon be an even bigger beast.

 

I was a bartender back when I lived in Michigan.

Guess what, Cortney is a bartender in Michigan.

I told you, this is some Freaky Friday shit right here.

I would not be surprised if one of these days we actually do swap lives.

I imagine it will take place on a stormy or snowy night...that's how it always goes down in the movies anyway. We will both be complaining about how our lives suck, and then BAM.

We both drink too much vodka and hit our heads on the bar, only to wake up confused...

....her in Maryland and me back in Michigan.

She and I will set some ground rules before the swap actually happens. Like we won't cut each other's hair or kiss each other's boyfriends, but the rest is up to the movie Gods.

In the end we will wind up missing our own lives because let's face it, she and I have a ton of damn fun. We will wish upon a star that we can switch back and then lightning will strike and we will be back in our own bodies.

 

 

I don't know about you guys but I'd watch that movie. I'd also go follow Erin and then tweet at her and like all of her Instagram photos because she's just that cool. I know you guys are probably missing me a lot right now so don't worry.. I have another blogsitter coming to you tomorrow! But until then, go do all of these things:

Follow Erin | Tweet at her | Follow her | Facebook her | BlogLove her

 

Don't Drink It If The Mountains Aren't Blue.

It's Friday and I'm officially on vaca which makes it the most fabulous Friday ever. The only thing that could make it better is a mimosa drank in my hand which may very well happen in the near future.

 

Today I'm bringing you my song of last year's summer. When you get random texts all year long from different people saying "Just heard Pontoon and it made me think of you." you know you successfully overplayed a song. But seriously, listen to this song and try not to think about how much fun you wish you were having while mmmm.. motor boatin right now.

 

And since I'll actually be pontooning (its a word) all week, it makes the song that much better.

 

Try not to miss me too much this week! Wink.

See ya in 9 days

 

Being A Storm Chaser Isn't That Cool.

The weeks almost over and homegirl is about to be spending a week being awesome: boating, tanning, becoming an ultimate fisherwoman, drinking a beer or five, out running bears, grilling.. maybe I should post that on Facebook so people can be jealous of me! Hypocritical? Maybe a little. Anywho, while I'm out being awesome, some pretty cool chicks are going to be blogsitting for me and I'm pretty excited about it! You'll love all of them (if you don't already) and it's just going to be spectacular, spectacular.

Before I head out for a little vacay shopping for maxis, bikini covers and a Wine2Go cup.. rough life, I know.. I thought I'd tell you about my little day yesterday. I was having a less than stellar day as you could probably tell from this little post, so PDiddy and I decided to go be really brave storm chasers and watch this storm roll in from Lake Michigan:

 

 

Well, this is what a storm looks like coming in:

 

I know.. way less cool than I thought it'd be too. The fact that there weren't any waves though really creeped me out. Where did they go?! Well, while being a storm chaser, you get poured on.. which was okay with us because we just found the nearest bar.

Before getting rained on.. Excuse the red hair.

On the way home, we stopped to get some drinks and out popped Paul with a grab bag of my favorite things. If this isn't romance then I don't know what is:

So all I needed to make my day better was a Lime-A-Rita, a Bud Light, a Summer Shandy and champagne.. who knew? Not me. But it worked!

Hope you all enjoy your Thirsty Thursday while I'm enjoying getting other people drunk. I might even do a little "See ya never bitches! I'm on vacation!" dance on the bar tonight after work because I've never danced on a bar before.

Linking up!